Well hey there! It’s been a while, like a month it’s been a while. So I have a couple of posts that I’m going to write! This is all about graduation. The feelings, what happened, the friends, and the pictures!

So bad picture but it’s the picture we took right after we had picked up our caps and gowns. Technically this was the day before graduation, but it was a great day that I hold dear to my tender heart.

The day before graduation was like a hot mess. We both donated plasma in the morning and I felt so sick afterwards, which is sort of normal. The weird thing was that it went on for the whole day and cassie was also feeling sick! We were both so so tired, just to the bone didn’t want to do anything, the kind of tired where it’s both not enough sleep and it felt like we had worked out for 5 hours. We were sick to our stomachs and we had to pack everything, because like the good students we were we did nothing over the weekend besides talk about how much we need to pack and then watched YouTube videos.

So we pick up our caps and gowns and took the above photo when we got back into Cassie’s car. I love this picture because you can vaguely tell that cassie and I had just been talking about how much we wanted to throw up but absolutely we’re not allowed to. If we were smart we would have packed during the weekend. We didn’t though and it was Monday and Tuesday was graduation. So we absolutely had to pack today.

We got food at Millhollow and then an hour after we finished eating we started to pack. Our upstairs was unbearably how so we were in minimal clothing while trying to both pack up our entire lives. It was pretty great because we spent the day together, delirious, over heating, feeling vomity, and also feeling this deep sad.

(I’ll talk about the sad in my other post that’s all about cassie G)

Even though it was desperately stressful, I loved it. It was so much fun to just be with cassie and doing what we do. We spent the day chilling with each other and talking and laughing and arguing over what music or podcast we should listen to. I favor music when packing and she favors my brother my brother and me the podcast.

Then much later in the day we got more food, unsuccessfully burned some homework, saw some of Cassie’s friends and ended up talking to them outside on the sidewalk for like 2 hours at 9pm, and then maniesse came! Maniesse stayed over with us and it was perfect. The three of us just get along so perfectly and I felt my heart so much! It was so full of this love that I have for my friends and through it all this underlying sadness that I was going to have to say goodbye.

Anyway. Part one of graduation and the love that I have for my friends!


It’s been a hot minute

Hey there blog! I know it feels like I’ve forgotten about you, but no worries, I haven’t. Life just got busy™. I am going to make more posts about things that have happened that I want to write about, but for now I’m going to just do a brief update. 

It’s 1:21am on July 15, 2017 and I graduate college in 3 days. Wow. I hadn’t thought about it in such short numbers until now. I feel like I’ve just been waiting for this to happen for the past 4 years and now it’s here and I sort of don’t want it to be? I had a plan for my life way back then and that is not what my life looks like now. I’m not going to say what I thought it was going to be like though because there’s no point in dwelling on things that hadn’t happened. But now it’s here! Becca, my mom, and the two kids are driving up through Canada to get here for graduation, and then my dad, Mae, and Macca are flying to Utah on Monday to meet up and then drive up with Nate on Tuesday. There’s a lot happening. 

But tonight and really this whole week, there has been a looming cloud over me saying “you have to say goodbye to chandler, marissa, and bennett, this weekend” and it’s Friday. Chandler and Marissa left today for Yellowstone so I said a brief goodbye on Thursday. Which I loved because I like short and to the point goodbye with a lot of hang out time that leads up to the goodbye. But tonight cassie and I had to say goodbye to Bennett. He came over and spent the evening at our house. He came over at like 10 and left at 1. 

I was holding it together. We said we’ll this is it I think. Gave hugs. Said come over anytime you want tomorrow morning. And then he left to walk home. The door shut. Cassie locked it, looked at me and started to cry. I couldn’t look at her because then I would start crying and I told her this. The good thing is that we made it upstairs before we both really broke down and hugged and cried. Bennett had been an incredible friend this semester. We saw him regularly and he fit into the weird and sometimes odd friendship of me and cassie. He just got along with both of us perfectly. And it wasn’t us saying be friends with us and forcing it, he also wanted to hangout with us. He wanted to see us tonight before he left even though he still had his clean checks to do. And on Thursday he came to the movies with us even though he had an essay to write. And those are just the small and most recent moments. 

I’m so happy we could develop and form this friendship. And that’s what makes tonight so hard. We don’t know if we’re ever going to see each other again! What a horrible thought. It’s true though. This is what no one tells you about college. You make amazing friendships. You get into this awful habit of saying a cheap-o goodbye at the end of the year because you know you’ll see them again. But then senior year happens. And people are going to Colorado, Texas, California, Idaho, and Massachusetts, and you’re not sure when you’re going to see each other again. Some of them, like cassie and Allegra and Kelly, you know you’ll stay in touch and that you’ll see them again. But other friends, you’re not sure. No one knows when you’ll be able to hangout next and see each other.

That’s the sad and awful truth about graduation. I’m beyond excited to see my family again. I haven’t seen any of them since January! It’s been too long. I’m also so excited to see anna and Mal again and be home. But the thought of not knowing when exactly cassie and I are going to be together and if I’ll ever see Bennett again. Man that tears a hole in my heart. 

I love the people that I spent this semester with. I hung out with friends so frequently, we went on adventures, made new rituals, made future plans, and I like to think that we made little impacts on each other’s lives. I’m signing off for now because cassie is currently asleep with her phone on her forehead and laptop still open and bennett hasn’t texted us to tell us that he’s home yet. 

The last day

All of the mixed emotions. Tomorrow is my last day in my preschool and I’m sad to say goodbye to my teachers and my students! I’m not surprised at all to say that I’m sad it’s ending. I knew as soon as I started that I would just love these kids. I love children and the hugs and the talking to them and the stories are things that I adore about children. They have such wonderful thoughts and they’re so pure and beautiful! I don’t understand how anyone can not love absolutely everything about working with them. 

I just finished my last homework for the semester (yes I’m aware that it could have been done a week ago) and there was a lot of reflection. I had to go all the way back to my first week of starting and wow. I hadn’t realized how much I’d grown and how much I learned. 

This is a short post because I don’t have all the words to say how much I’m going to miss my teachers and the children that I worked with. I love them all so much.  Even though they’ll forget me, I’ll never forget how much of an impact they’ve made on my life. Cheesy and corny yes but all of it is very very true. 

let’s start this thing

So, today Mal and Anna and I were at Marshalls and of course we started to look at notebooks and planners. Something I wish more than anything is to be the kind of person who has a planner and actually follows it. Alas my life is far from exciting and so nothing ever really happens and I end up forgetting about it. anyway. As we were looking at the notebooks I kept thinking about how I wish I was a better at using a journal, but the thought of just writing and writing is terrible to me. I love to write, I love quotes and I love reading. But physically writing is just terrible. I have the worst hand writing and I get bored/tired. So as we were pursuing the isle of notebooks I was once again struck with the thought of, “just start a blog”. Now I’ve been thinking about starting a blog for some time and I finally gave in.

Continue reading “let’s start this thing”