It’s been a bit!

Hello to me! I haven’t written in a while and I’m really sorry about that. I’ve been thinking about how I need to write more and be on this more, but time has been slipping away from me. I feel like the semester has just started but I’m coming up in midterms!! How is that even possible?! I’m a quarter of the way done with my senior year, I might puke. 

That’s not the only reason I’ve been away! It’s been a good semester so far! I love my roommates and I am starting to enjoy my classes. I miss home and I think about my friends back home more than I usually admit. But a good semester none the less! This past week though I’ve been in a bothered mood. I’ve flip flopped between wanting to spend all my time with my roommates and I don’t want to see a single soul. It’s odd but this happens. It’s a problem though because I have a huge paper due on Thursday. As in manymany pages and I have 1 and a half done. This is sort of unusual for me? And the reason why is because I can’t get into a rhythm.
The last two days have been off days for me and I’m not sure why? I have been in a totally “let me lie on the couch and watch Netflix for 5 hours” kind of mood. Which is a normal mood! But usually I can still get work done! Not this time though. Just no motivation no nothing. It’s been weird and I haven’t talked about it because I don’t know where it came from and there isn’t anything anyone can do. No amount of telling me to do my work will help, in fact it will only make me angry and feel even guiltier. 

I think I’m finally out of it though? I was listening to ed sheerans song castle on the hill and I was hit with so many feelings. That son never fails to make me think of home. Every. Single. Time. I love it. I think of home and my friends and the special kind of comfort that only home can give you. The greatest bit though? I started to actually do my essay. I started to feel like I could type and that what I was putting down wasn’t gonna be complete garbage. I feel good about it and I feel like I’m in a swing again. 

I just got out of the shower and I’m excited to listen to some more Turnpike Troubadours and to write this paper all about my family. 

I think my week is finally starting to look up. 

Sound

I found a website that I have fallen in love with. I used to think that I was the kind of person who would rather listen to music than noises. But I heard about a website called mynoise.net, and it’s changed things for me. I was in the Ricks today and I couldn’t concentrate on my reading and I was worried cause I had to do well on my quiz, so as a last ditch effort to concentrate I pulled up this website. One of my favorite noises is summer nights, I love the crickets, I love the cicadas and I love the gentleness that summer nights bring. Whenever I listen to that noise I have such an immediate mental thought. I automatically think of my bed and lying in my room listening to the bugs and the cows and trying to sleep because I’m so hot and tired. Yet at the same time I’m perfectly content. I’m usually not a fan of the summer, but there’s something about summer nights that are magical. They feel like your whole life can happen in one night.

Anyway, I listened to summer nights and man did I concentrate. It put me in the right frame of mind and I was able to get my reading done and I’m like 85% sure that I did pretty alright on my quiz!

But then there’s meadow lane, and meadow lane is beautiful, but along with meadow lane there’s spring walk. I love these. Partially because if I could live my life in a meadow, I would. I think that they’re beautiful and I love the open rolling fields and the solitude. I think that’s one of my favorite things. I love the solitude these noises have to offer. I know some people like the coffee shops, or the crowded markets, but I love the nature noises, but not rain. I mean it’s okay, but it’s not great. Birds though and wind and slight rain noises, those are the best ones.

Anyway, no one reads these posts, but please check out mynoise.net

It’s great and wonderful and it’s changed my day.

It’s been a day

Honestly, today hasn’t been the best. I was nervous about my sociology class, I have a ton of HW and make up for that class. Seriously. I have no idea if I’m gonna pass it lol. I hate myself. I also felt so uncomfortable today. It was so odd, I just felt off and weird. I did not love it. So when I got back from being on campus since 9am, I did a face mask. Then I saw Allegra, face timed with my fam:

Then cassie and Kelly and I went to mcdonalds. We blasted Meghan trainor, got too much food, ate our shame in the car, laughed because none of us could stop burping. And I realized that it’s a good day. I love those girls and even though they drive me nuts sometimes, I love them so much. They’ve been my rocks in life and I love them for that. But also I took a cute snap so we’ll end it on that 

Coolcoolcoolcool

That really awesome moment where you just need to vent about this boy that you like. But you need to vent about it to people who actually know him and all the people who know him are being sarcastic and make you feel like an idiot for talking about it. 

Coolcoolcoolcool

It sucks

Do you know what sucks? Liking a guy, then thinking that they might like you, then hearing them talk about some other girl they like, then having to still see them. It’s not great. Because then you want to talk about it to get all the feelings out. But your roommates aren’t being supportive in the way that you want them to be. 

It really sucks. 

Let’s go back…

Hi hello! Today I have an essay to write, a relief society lesson to plan, zumba to attend, friends to catch up with, reading to do, a quiz to take, ahead work to understand, and sleep to be had. You know what though? All I want to do is think about Ireland and have money to go back there. Which brings me to the thought of applying to a job, it would be a call center. I’m not sure if I can do it because I have so much homework and a job is a lot of time that I’m not sure I have.

Well then…

Have you ever said something and then immediately regretted it? So that happened tonight. Cassie and Kelly and I decided at 9:30 tonight that we needed ice cream. It was such a fun drive to be in the car and to drive and listen to music and yell/scream at each other. I love these girls so much and I never want them to be out of my life. 

So after we got our ice cream and we were sitting in the car in the parking lot of DQ I decided to tell them something. I told them that I think I like paper boi and now I regret. Kelly had mentioned that she thought there was something there for us. But I’m afraid that Cassie likes him. So now I’m worried that I shouldn’t have said anything. I almost wish I had kept it to myself as a little secret. I wanted to tell them though and I did. So now I have to handle the consequences of that. 

But all in all it was a good day. I was lazy, ate donuts, worked out, did HW, and talked to Michael for a while. So all in all a very good day. 

Oh boy

So tonight Jordan brought her friends over, all guys, and we had a game night. I’m gonna be real at first I was not excited to interact with lots of people. I had a good Sunday! Got a calling, loved sacrament meeting, had such a good chat with Michael, had an almost nap with Cassie as we watched a documentary, and got Cassie’s car to work! So I didn’t want to ruin it with a game night with guys I didn’t know.

Sleep

I love sleep, I really do. But I take my time, I can’t just sleep at the drop of a hat?! But do you know who can? Kelly and cassie can. And do you know who snores? Kelly and cassie do. And do you know who then suffers? Me. 

No wifi?

Our wifi has been out since yesterday. And when I say our I mean every single apartment that is off campus that’s not married housing. It’s great. So I spent my morning going to class and suffering in the MC to do all my online work. Thankfully I didn’t have a lot of online work. Not so thankfully I have a TON of reading to do and you know what? reading is boring okay?