Hello hi it’s been a hot second since I’ve written a post. And of course it’s about a boy, but no one else is reading this so I don’t really care.
Cassie and I have vowed to be more social this semester, and even though it’s only the second week of school we are already super social. Like we have plans every Saturday, did something on Sunday, had a movie night tonight, and have plans on Friday and Saturday. All with the same friend, B. He and cassie knew each other from classes but she expanded and now I’d like to think I’m also friends with him as well. There is an issue, we both like him.
It’s weird. Hundred percent weird. Because we both like him and we both are telling the other to go for it. We had the uncomfortable conversation tonight and it basically came down to, “if he likes one of us then awesome. The other person is willing and prepared to bury all feelings and vice versa.” But it’s still odd. I love cassie, she’s my best friend and we always will be and no boy will ever change that.
That being said I really do like B. And the worst part is that I think he likes me but I can’t ask cassie to scope out the feelings for me. I have to figure it out on my own. Well not entirely. I will be praying about this quite a bit, but it’s hard.
I had to get that all out because man that has been on my shoulders and thoughts in my head for a week and a half now.
It’s 11:33pm on April 6th 2017, it also happens to be the last night that me, kelly, and cassie are going to share a room together. It’s an odd feeling. To see a friend graduate, to know that she’s leaving and 2/3rds of you are staying. I’ve felt off all day, knowing that this is the last time we’ll all be living together.
How do you say goodbye to one of the first people you met and became friends with and then lives with for three years? I sure as hell don’t know. My stomache has been in weird knots all day, knowing that this is the end. I know I’ll see kelly again, I know, but saying goodbye to her is something I’m not ready for. She’s been my person that I know I can go to and complain about family, friends, boys, classes and she will always be there with a response. We can freak out over cute boys and loud people and scream song in the car until 2am. She’s been my person to talk to. Someone that I know when I just need to complain about things and yell for 15 minutes, she’ll let me and agree with me. I’m so lucky to have such an amazing person as my friend.
I remember freshman year when we met. It was my first college class ever and I was freaking out, but I remember my mom telling me to just introduce myself. So I’m waiting in the hallway for the class before to leave and I’m saying hi to all these people who are also waiting. I said hi to this girl who just looked like she had it all together. She was nice and friendly so we sat next to each other in class. Our teacher made us do a weird group activity where we had to order pictures. Kelly and I thought that our pictures went near each other and so we were put in a group for the rest of the semester. I’m so grateful for that class and for her. There were so many odd events that lead me to taking that class getting accepted, not checking my email, not knowing what classes I had to take, panicking at 11:30 at night in NC and making my mom register for classes with me, signing up for the last English class avalible that didn’t have a waitlist, and then finally saying hi to this nice girl in the hallway.
I don’t know how the next semester will go. I’m not sure if I’ll see kelly again, wait no, that’s a lie. I know I will. I love her so much and she has impacted my life in such a beneficial way that I could never not be in touch with her. I don’t know how we’ll say goodbye. Probably tomorrow night in our beds and crying. But it will be sweet, tender, and just a little awkward. Just like us.
Someday I’ll show her this post and we can cry about how old we are, how we’re still friends and how I probably forgot some detail, but for now this is a post for me. So I can remember this little point in time when I lived with two of my best friends and I had to say goodbye to them.